Mooo!

My little brother is engaged (insert applause here) and while I'm sad my mom isn't here to help plan all the festivities (which isn't much anyway since the bride and the mother-of-the-bride do everything) I'm kind of glad I don't have to see her get put out to pasture. This leads me to the purpose of this post.
I don't want my boys to grow up and I tell them on a regular basis.  When Marcus tells me he has a loose tooth I often respond with, "That's horrible news!  Stop getting older!"  And when Ethan tells me his shoes are getting too small I tell him, "If you'd stop growing I wouldn't have to buy you new shoes."  Of course they just laugh and think I'm kidding.  Believe me when I say I am not kidding.
I feel like the clock is continually ticking down the days until they become big, hairy men with deep voices and body odor.  Maybe that will make it easier for me to let go when they get married and I never see them again.  Oh sure, I'll see them occasionally when their wives let me, but they are mine no more and I'm telling myself to be ok with that.  I have no choice.  I figure the best way to cope will be to surround myself with lots of other mothers of boys who are lonely too. We can be lonely together and hopefully it will be on a cruise in the Caribbean with husbands in tow.
Until then, I'm soaking it all in.  Every cuddle, every hug, every cry in the night.  Yes, Landon is the worst sleeper on the planet and still wakes up in the night.  This should bother me.  I should feel like a failure as a mother but I'm ok with it.  He usually wakes up crying before I go to bed so it's kind of nice to snug with him for a minute before he falls back to sleep.  He needs me and that's a good thing because it won't last forever.
If you think I'm being dramatic think again.  I've lost count of the number of older mothers who tell me to enjoy my little boys while it lasts because "it will be over in the blink of an eye."  Someday it's going to be my turn to be put out to pasture.  Until then I'm livin' it up, even if it's answering a cry in the middle of the night.
So sorry, Randy.  Better get some earplugs.