Survival Mode

I am losing my mind.  Most days I run around like a headless chicken, cleaning here and there, driving kids to friends or sports, running errands, taking the kids to do something fun,  etc.  Last week was especially busy and I knew I'd hit a new level of frazzled nerves when I realized that eating breakfast at noon was becoming normal.  That's not typical for me.  Especially since I get up early to exercise.  There's just never enough time!  I feel like I'm a day late and a dollar short in everything I do.  I'm bearing my soul here when I say that I am failing miserably at my life.  I can barely get Marcus and Ethan to their sports on time or even worse, I had the time wrong and raced across town to get Marcus to soccer only to arrive a half hour early because I messed up.  Ethan jokingly said he's lucky I've remembered to take him to football and Marcus to soccer and not the other way around.  We all laughed but really I wanted to cry.  Trying my hardest every day to get my kids where they need to be, keeping the house sorta kinda clean, and putting dinner on the table are not lofty goals but they seem very unattainable right now and I hate it. 
Yesterday was a doozy.  I got up to go running when I got a text from the contractor telling me he's on his way over to start the demo on Marcus's bathroom.  So I skipped my run/shower and raced to Home Depot for supplies I should've already purchased.  Luckily I remember to fill up on gas on my way home or things would've gone really bad and I got home before the construction guys so I even had time to start the laundry.  Then I talked to James/construction guy/newest member of the family about all the water damage in the master bathroom and decided we have to gut the whole thing and it's going to cost a lot of money and they'll get to it as soon as they get done repairing Marcus's bathroom.  Not great news.  Then it was time to take Marcus to the lake with friends and Ethan to his buddy's.  Got that done and was at Home Depot with Landon and Parker when I got a frantic call from my friend.  Her son was dropped off at my house but I wasn't there like I was supposed to be (she never got my last-minute text).  Her son was in tears and traumatized by the two construction guys at the house when he was expecting to see Marcus.  Got that crisis solved after lots of apologies and began my second trip at Home Depot.  The tile I needed was out of stock so I had to drive across town to the other Home Depot.  I found what I needed but it took forever.  All the while I was getting an absurd amount of texts and phone calls from other moms/friends/visiting teachers/sisters/James while pushing around a cart full of heavy tile (making me feel less guilt for missing my workout so that's  a win) and texting Randy pics of the progress on the construction going on at our house.  Finished the third Home Depot trip at two o'clock to eat lunch, tidy the kitchen, and do another load of laundry before picking up Marcus and friends.  I drove to the lake and parked in one of four empty handicap stalls because there was nowhere else to park, and ran down to the water to get Marcus and company.  They took way too long to gather their things which was unfortunate because when I got back to the van a police officer was giving me a ticket!  And it took forever so the kids were way late to their next thing which wasn't a big deal but meant I had to text moms explaining where we were.  I finally get the stupid ticket and drove away without even glancing at it because who has time for that?  Well, Marcus looked it over and delivered the bad news.  The fine was $450!  Highway robbery.  "Are you kidding me?!"  I yelled.  Then the van full of tween-agers got really quiet.  I couldn't believe it. Talk about getting kicked when you're down.  I'd just spent over $2,000 that day on stuff to repair Marcus's bathroom not to mention our unexpected master bathroom renovation.  But my day wasn't over yet.  After dropping off the kids I had a small window of opportunity to make dinner and do more laundry before I had to pick up Ethan from his friend's and drop him off at home to suit up for football practice while I picked up Marcus.  Then I drove back home, Marcus ran in to suit up for soccer and Ethan came sprinting out half-dressed in his football gear which I helped him get on while we sate at red lights. It's a two-man job and we are getting good at doing it while I drive.  Then I came home and got Marcus and drove him to soccer practice on the other side of town and we arrived a minute early!  Miracles never cease.  Then I raced home and ate dinner with Randy, Landon, and Parker before we tag-teamed to pick up the boys from sports and met at our friend's house for an outdoor movie for family night.  We got home at 11pm and the day was finally over.
Today I'm recovering from yesterday. I'm glad I finally found time to blog so that nagging voice in my head has one less thing to nag me about.  I've decided for my birthday this year I want to spend the day by myself (not possible) organizing my mess of a house.  Then maybe I'll feel like I accomplished something. School starts in two days and I can't wait!

To Barb Q, Grandma, family, and other anonymous readers: Thanks for reading me blog and letting me vent.  It was very therapeutic.