Stay Away!

Henry had the stomach flu.  We knew it was coming because a couple of our neighbor's kids had it.  Poor kid.  But honestly you should feel worse for me.  Cleaning up puke is the worst.  It's like hugging a leper.  I try not to breathe in all those nasty germs or throw up myself, then wash my hands until my skin is raw, and then rub hand sanitizer into every little crevice just so I can repeat the whole process when the next round of sickness starts.  Naturally Henry picked a busy Saturday to be sick and I had places to be so Henry was dragged along for the ride regardless of his stomach bug.  We made it for the tail end of Landon's basketball game (he scored 14 baskets!) and a quick trip to Dick's Sporting Goods so I could get Landon a mouth guard for his first lacrosse game (he scored 2 goals!) all without incident.  I was thrilled and drove really fast just to speed up the whole process because I knew Henry was a ticking time bomb.  Just as we were about to take a quick detour to the car wash, Henry started throwing up.  Luckily we didn't hit any other cars as I quickly changed direction while yelling at Parker to "Grab the bowl!  Quick!  GIVE HENRY THE BOWL!!"  But Parker wasn't fast enough so Henry was covered and so was his car seat.  You know what's worse than driving around in a dirty minivan full of boys and all their crap?  Driving around in a minivan full of boys, all their crap, and the smell of vomit.  It's much worse.  I felt bad for myself. 
Poor Henry.   That night he was so thirsty and hungry.  I made a quick trip to the grocery store for popsicles hoping he could at least keep those down.  It was a long night of him crying and begging for water and snuggling on the couch while he sucked on popsicles at 2:30 and 5:30
in the morning.  Parenthood.....
But the next day was awesome because it was Sunday and I had six hours worth of meetings to be at so Randy held down the fort.  Like most men, Randy has a much lower tolerance for cleaning up throw up so he lucked out that Henry was no longer puking but I still got the day off while Randy stayed home with him.  It was glorious!  I really think I heard angels singing.  I came home to a messy kitchen, think post-Thanksgiving dinner kind of mess, and a delicious meal of roast, potatoes and gravy, and homemade rolls.  I think my new church assignment is going to be a good change for our family.
And now Ethan has the stomach flu.  He hasn't kept anything down in three days.  We will see who succumbs to the plague next....

Stake Conference in my Pajamas

My life is forever changed.  Today was stake conference which means every six months we go to church and sit for 2 hours listening to our stake leaders.  It's great as an adult but horrible if you have kids and since I have five kids it's extra horrible.  My boys are usually antsy and asking "how much longer?" after about twenty minutes so the two hour meeting feels eternal.

Randy is in Utah for the weekend and I was dreading the thought of stake conference on my own but my friend/neighbor Barb, rescued me again.  She really is the best!  Her husband {named Randy} takes care of all the tech/video/broadcasting for stake conference so it can be streamed and viewed at 2 locations.  Barb emailed me the link enabling me to watch the live stream of stake conference from my house.  I watched conference in my pajamas, snuggling with my boys and enjoyed every minute of that 2-hour meeting.  It was amazing!  I wondered how something that wonderful could not be bad?  I mean it was just too good to be true.  But it was true!  Now my dilemma is how will I go back to sitting through stake conference at the church ever again?  It's like going back to dial-up internet.  Or black and white television.  Or horses instead of cars.  You get the idea.  But today I'm just thankful and so happy.

Landon wasted no time bringing in all the Legos and Ethan got extra comfy on the inflatable couch

Seeing my boys snuggling makes me happy

 Also, while we are on the subject of Sundays and church, I must share this story of the 2018 Epic Parent Fail.  A few weeks ago when Laura and her family was in town, we come home from church in three different cars.  Typically after church my boys come find me, begging and pulling on my arms to stop talking to my friends, and practically drag me to the parking lot.  This time was no different so I sent Landon to get Parker from his class as I rushed to gather up my things amidst the dragging and pulling.  I got out to the parking lot and all the kids rushed to jump in the cars and make the fastest exit possible.  We arrived home about fifteen minutes later and began our traditional Sunday lunch of grilled cheese sandwiches when Randy got a phone call informing him we had left Parker at church.  I freaked out.  Randy drove to Parker's very kind and hopefully not judgemental Primary teacher and picked up Parker.  When Parker got home, he walked right past me, throwing the picture at me that he made in Primary and burst into tears.  I immediately hugged him and apologized and hugged him some more and promised I'd never leave him again {fingers crossed}.  Once he calmed down I looked at his picture and almost started sobbing myself.  In his cute hand writing that I could barely decipher, it said:

Dear Mom, I love you  Thank you for loving me  Love Parker

Can you believe it?  Reading it was like being stabbed through the heart with a knife.  Seriously, I felt so bad.  I'm the worst.  The worst.  Now I know how the mom on Home Alone felt.  It's time to teach my kids what to do when they get left somewhere, not if.

I mean, who could forget this cute kid?  Me.  That's who. 

My Dad Was Right

"Life is pain,"  Dad always said whenever we were complaining about something or going through a hard time.  Sometimes he'd say it in all seriousness and other times with a twinkle in his eye but the message was the same:  Life is not always one big happy party.
His words couldn't be truer as we are in the throes of remodeling our master bathroom.  Who would ever remodel their master bathroom before remodeling their kitchen?  Or replacing carpet?  Or about a million other home improvements that need to be done that people might actually see if they come to your house?  Well, we are those people.  We stopped using our shower six months ago {SIX!} when we discovered it was leaking water into the living room below. {Repairing the ceiling is the next thing on our list.}  The most frustrating thing about the bathroom was that the previous owners had just remodeled it themselves.  Unfortunately for us, they hired some 20-something, unlicensed contractor to do the work.  Apparently he doesn't know that sticking tile directly to sheet rock inside a shower is not going to be waterproof.  At all.  The only thing that makes me feel a little, tiny bit happy about the situation is that the bathroom was super modern and didn't go with the rest of the house so now I won't cringe every single time I walk into it.
Currently there is a bathtub and a toilet sitting in my bedroom, a vanity on the landing partially blocking the entrance to Ethan's bedroom, and boxes of tile, hardware, grout, and tools everywhere in between.  Walking through my room in the middle of the night when it's dark {because I'm pregnant and I always have to go to the bathroom} is like walking through a mine field.  And I have to put on shoes because of all the dust, debris, and tile shards.  It's so lovely.
Honestly, I'm hating every second of it but I've learned a few lessons through this whole ordeal.

1.  If it's not broken, don't fix it!  Which means we will never do a kitchen remodel because why would I do that to myself just because the kitchen is ugly and outdated?  It works just fine so it's going nowhere.

2. Order everything well in advance because chances are, even if you're getting grout from Home Depot, it will be out of stock.  I seriously just thought I'd pick out all the things I wanted and go pick them up at the store.  Not so!  It's a miracle everything is actually here in time to be installed.

3.  Never build a house.  Anything you want will cost more than what you think or expect it to.  Especially if you want something slightly nicer than generic builder-grade quality stuff.  You like that stuff you see on Pinterest?  Well guess what, it's way out of your budget!

OK, I'll stop with this depressing list.  It's a good thing most people don't feel the same way I do or my brother-in-law who builds beautiful custom homes for a living would be out of job.
Oh, and the icing on the cake is that Marcus sliced his hand open helping with the bathroom demo so that's an added price tag because his little ER trip was not part of the bathroom budget.
Like my dad always said, "Life is pain."

That 90 degree cut was from the corner of the marble vanity top impaling his hand as he tried to squeeze through a doorway while Randy was pushing from the other end.  It was a gory sight!

I'll post the finished product when it's all done.  Maybe.  I have low expectations on the whole thing coming together the way I envisioned it.  It's really unfortunate my brother-in-law lives in Utah.  He could've handled the whole thing while I sat on the couch eating bonbons.  But now I'm familiar with every aisle in Home Depot and Lowe's, know the best tile dealer and exactly how much tile is safe to load in my minivan, found an outlet where I can order windows and trim for dirt cheap, and I carry a tape measure with me everywhere I go. 

I am a Slug

I threw my back out at the gym on Saturday morning.  It was awful.  I was crying.  And crawling on the floor so I could get to a wall to pull my sorry self up into a standing position.  I didn't have my cell phone to call for a ride so I inched my way out to the car and drove myself home as hot pain shot up my back and down my legs.  It was bad.  I laid face-down on my bad and cried as I knew my active lifestyle of running and boot camp workouts would now be replaced with yoga.  This made me cry harder.
I called a couple friends who suffer from chronic back pain and they came to my aid with ice packs, heat packs, and lots of empathy.  And I apologized to them profusely for not supporting them in their back pain.  I had no idea it could be so bad.  The pain was right up there with heavy labor contractions as I could literally feel the muscles in my back having spasms.  I will never pick up another kettle bell again.  Ever.
I've been laying on the floor with ice packs for the past two days.  I've watched more TV in the last 48 hours than I have in the past year.  It is awful!  My boys know how to help me roll over so I can shift positions and Randy helped me get dressed.  It's been kind of nice seeing my boys be so helpful though.  They will have lucky wives.
I got into a chiropractor this morning and now I'm feeling so much better.  In fact, I'm kind of in love with that man.  Thanks to him, I can bend over and almost touch my knees!  Hooray!  He taped up my back so now I look like a real athlete and the pain is only bad when I sit or drive or stand up.  Randy is doing the laundry and a friend is bringing over dinner so my mood has shifted for the positive. I just might get my life back to normal after all.
For all of you fellow back pain people, I am so sorry.  So, so sorry.  It is horrible and you have my deepest empathy.