There are two types of people in this world.
1) Those who like cats.
2) Those who don't.
I'm definitely in the second category. Maybe it's because of the time when I was ten years old, playing outside with my littlest sister when I watched a big ol' stray cat walk up to her, look her in the eye, and scratch her face off. Luckily she was too little to remember the incident because she was in the first category.
Or maybe I'm in the second category because of the time when our cat did her thing all over my new (real) leather jacket. Cat urine and leather don't mix. That cat continued to taunt me the rest of its existence by sitting in the middle of the driveway where I parked my car, just begging to be struck down by my 1978 Toyota Corolla. I'd pause as I entered the driveway, see her sitting there, weigh the pros and cons, then with an evil grin on my face I'd slam my foot down on the accelerator and hope for the best. The cat always bolted at the last second and all I'd hit was the garbage can. That darn cat.
You can imagine the drama and chaos that swept over our house last week when a stray cat wandered inside for the third time. It was obviously lost and hadn't figured out that all bomb shelters look the same and mistakenly thought my house was his house. And I thought cats were supposed to be smart? The (stupid) cat patiently sat outside our house waiting for one of the boys to open the door long enough for it to streak inside. The first time it snuck in, the boys were able to herd the cat back outside without my assistance but the third time the (stupid) cat ran straight up the stairs and hid under my bed. That's when it got personal. I had to intervene. After nicely coaxing the cat out from under the bed, I scooped it up, rushed it down the stairs before it could scratch my face off, and threw it out the door. Then the boys and I scrubbed our hands clean with soap and water. After all, how clean can a cat be when it cleans itself by licking its fur? Sick!
I haven't seen the cat in three days so maybe it found its way home, or at least another identical bomb shelter to torment.
I hate cats too!
ReplyDelete(Brett here)
ReplyDeleteMel,
I am not a fan of cats either. We once got a cat and named it dog because we really wanted a dog but our parents would only let us get a cat. We would also throw it in the air to see if they really do always land on all fours. (they do by the way, try it).
I loved your comment on me always being on the back row, at least I always got to be partners with Sandra.
Oh my, I am laughing my guts out. As a fellow non-cat person, that post was hilarious.
ReplyDeleteMel, I love you...I needed a laugh today.
ReplyDeleteThat cat ran inside our house the other day as well. it actually belongs to our neighbor in A who have the other outdoor cats...
ReplyDeleteWe have this crazy old couple in our apts that drive all over and sporatically leave a scoop of cat food in the parking lots. then all these sick cats literaly come out of the trees to partake, oh and the racoons. And they sit on our cars and get paw prints everywhere. One time I was out there when she was doing her food drop and she said. "oh those silly cats, I will tell them to stop sitting on your car" crazy cat lady! down with cats!
ReplyDeleteI'm with you. Cats. Ech.
ReplyDeleteOh, Mel ... that's awful! Getting rid of the cat hair is gross, too!
ReplyDeleteMel,
ReplyDeleteI am in the same category and could tell you some good stories about how I learned to despise cats. Nevertheless, as a mother, I did give in once and we had two(not one, two) kittens. Luckily they ran off when we went on vacation!!