Christmas came and went. We had a great time being together. For our family, Christmas Eve is more special than opening presents on Christmas morning so we gathered together a week early to enjoy my Mom's last Christmas Eve. We're glad we celebrated early because her lucid moments are becoming few and far between.
I loved watching my boys open their presents on Christmas morning. We smiled, laughed, and assembled new toys as if it were any old Christmas. Occasionally I'd glance at my mom on the couch and remember how lucky we were to have her with us.
But there are also reminders that things are not normal. My dad gave my mom pearl earrings. The earrings she'll wear when she is buried. I helped my mom get seated in her wheelchair so my dad could take her on a walk. I gave my mom her meds through her IV this morning using syringes. I am not a nurse but I sure felt like one.
The strange part about all of this is I'm not crying. People are constantly calling to get updates and by the time I hang up the phone the person on the other end is sobbing. Other people stop by to visit with my mom and say their final good-byes. They leave the house with tears streaming down their faces as I cheerfully say, "Thanks for coming. Merry Christmas!"
And so you see, I am a mess. Or maybe just being sustained by prayers.
Maybe a little of both?
We will keep sending the power of prayers your way! A little of both is okay, and probably a good thing. I"m grateful you got to enjoy some normal Christmas moments and that your boys had a wonderful time. Here it rained ALL day, literally not a dry moment, I know because we got the girls a playhouse outside and never had even a minute of no rain to take them out to see it...oh well, they got to see on the 26th. We had quite the crazy adventure on Christmas Eve at the zoo...I'll have to blog about it, crazy!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you are all together for Christmas ... I've been thinking of you and praying for your family. You are a source of strength for many ... you have many friends who will gladly be here if/when you need a shoulder or just to talk. God bless you and all your family.
ReplyDeleteWith special thoughts of you and yours,
~The Kasuske Family
mel--thinking about you all. i don't know how you find the time to blog. landon must be sleeping??? i'm glad you were able to celebrate christmas and please know we are thinking and praying for you guys. we miss you!
ReplyDeleteI hope you get a few more memorable moments with your mom. We have been praying for both your family as well as your mom. Your mom and your family are amazing people who have friends and family that will and have been praying for you for almost two years now, and who also have been raised with amazing testimonies and strength to be able to get through these hard times. And you have an amazing sister who is making sure Angels are buoying you all up at this very difficult time. You are not messed up at all, you are just amazing. We are thinking of you and will continue praying for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteMelanie, you are in our prayers always. Thank you for sharing. Your insights are priceless and meaningful. Love ya always, Pam
ReplyDeletewhat beautiful smiles you girls have!
ReplyDeletefun times..the Doran girls are our babysitters....:)
may you have many more peaceful days ahead.