A Tight Situation

Not a single light was on as I pulled up to our house.  It was only 10:30 pm and I was just getting home from my un-shower (celebrating the arrival of baby #4 with close friends but no gifts because I have way too much boy stuff already).  I parked the car in the garage and when I tried to open the door to go inside I was surprised to find the door was locked.  I never carry a house key with me so Randy knows not to lock the door.  "No problem,"  I thought, "I'll just call the home phone and tell Randy to open the door."  The phone rang and rang and rang.  No answer.  No Randy.  I called his cell phone and was surprised it wasn't on silent because I could hear it ringing.  It rang and rang, then went to voice mail.  Using my phone as a flashlight, I carefully walked around to the back of the house and tried to open the back door.  No luck.  I  checked the hiding spot for the spare key near the back door and no luck again.  The key was gone.  At this point I was getting frustrated.  How could Randy lock all the doors, turn out all the lights, and go to sleep without realizing his wife was locked out stumbling around in the dark?  After calling his cell phone and the home phone again with no success at waking anybody, I went around to the front of the house to ring the doorbell.  I rang the doorbell over and over, called phones, and started banging on the door.  At this point I was worried the neighbors would call the police because everyone sleeps with their windows open and I was making a lot of noise.  I sat down on the front steps, exhausted and upset and not any closer to getting inside than I was fifteen minutes earlier.  I forced my brain to think (not easy when you're pregnant) and realized the kitchen window was probably open.  I stumbled to the back of the house again, praying I wasn't going to be attacked by a skunk or raccoon and discovered the window was open.  Finally, success!  I popped off the screen, threw my purse inside, and began the near-impossible task of hoisting my 39-week pregnant self through the window.  After a couple attempts and a lot of grunting I was inside.  Hallelujah!

A few things I have learned from this little episode:

1.  If there is ever an intruder in the house it will be up to me to protect the family while Randy snores away, blissfully unaware.

2.  Why bother locking all the doors?  If a pregnant woman can break in and enter then anybody can.

3.  Jumping and squeezing through small spaces doesn't induce labor, just my wrath.