Mother's Day

Sadly, I never got a Mother's Day pic so this will have to do

It came and went without a lot of sad tears this year.  It also happened to be my mom's birthday so I think I just willed myself into not dwelling on all the should-have-beens so the day wasn't ruined.  Randy outdid himself trying to make everything perfect which I love and also find very entertaining.  By the end of the day he was exhausted and short-tempered which made me feel good because that's how I feel at the end of every day! 
Since I didn't have to do any meal prep or cleaning, I took some time to myself to read through my mom's journal.  She was such a good writer that reading it almost feels like having a conversation with her, and that's such a blessing.  Not as good as a Mother's Day phone call but I'll take it!
Randy bought me some nice gifts, Ethan bought me some beautiful earrings {like from a store, not some homemade art project that I have to wear out of love}, and Landon made me a card with a beautiful, sentimental message inside:

Dear Mom, 

I don't want to go to piano lessons.  Parker can do it instead.

Love, 

Landon

Talk about an outpouring of love and emotion!  Oh well.  He is my middle child after all.  For the record, he went to his first piano lesson after lots of tears and then loved every second of it.  

And now I'll share my most recent thoughts on motherhood.  I always wanted to be a mom but I never knew how much I would love it.  {Except for those bad days like this morning when I begged Randy to teach me how to do root canals so we could trade places for a day.  But those times are the exception, not the rule.} I am constantly amazed at how fulfilling it is for me and I haven't figured out why.  It's definitely not for everyone but for some reason it's the perfect job for me.  I'm so glad I get to do what I love and love what I do. 

I've also concluded that I used to be a really fun mom.  I did spontaneous things with my boys all the time, like bike rides to the store for donuts, dance parties in the living room, or taking the boys on an "adventure."  I never do those things now and I'm pretty sure Parker has never even had a dance party.  It's tragic!  I was telling Marcus my woes and he said, "Mom, we are too busy!  We don't have time for that stuff."  But he's wrong.  My little boys have time for that stuff, just not me and that doesn't sit well.  Although I do have a grumbling teenager who resists doing anything that doesn't involve sports, his social life, or the TV which puts a serious damper on trying to instigate fun and spontaneity. 

So I decided it was time to up my game.  Last week in the midst of driving Marcus and Ethan to scouts and lacrosse practice, I surprised Landon and Parker with a trip to a new park.  Well, new to them but not to me.  I used to take the boys there a ton {back when I was a fun mom} when we lived here before RI but Landon doesn't remember it.  It was a shockingly sunny and warm evening and Landon and Parker were in heaven.  I even pushed them on the swings and the zip line for awhile before retreating to a bench to read a book while watching them have the time of their lives.  They were sad when it was time to leave but I was glad that I could redeem myself, even if it was short-lived.