i'm still alive

I don't even know where to start.  My life feels like I'm being hit by a fire hose.  Everything is so overwhelming.  Starting up a practice is no joke.  It's a TON of work.  A TON.  And SO STRESSFUL.  Turns out I never knew what stress was until we started this office gig.  Mothering five kids is a big job too.  Doing both is a really bad combination.  I mean bad.  Then throw in daily trips to the hospital for radiation and I seriously want to go stand outside, look to the heavens, throw my arms in the air and shout to God, "Why are you doing this to me??!!  Why? Why? Why?"  But I don't have time for that anyway.  I'm too busy running around with a diaper bag on one shoulder and Henry in his car seat on the other arm, while I'm holding my phone to my ear taking a call.
So the biggest news is we just survived our first week of being in business.  Randy saw his first patient on Monday.  I won't disclose the patient's name here, but I will never forget it and if I ever meet him I will probably give him a big hug and cry on his shoulder.  The root canal went smoothly {after calling in favors from a few dental friends who had supplies that we needed because our order was delivered to the wrong office}.  When Randy came home from work the boys and I all ran out to greet him in the driveway to give him big hugs, even Marcus.  I've never been so proud of my man.  That night Landon prayed that his dad would have more patients so we could have more money.  I laughed but seriously, it's how it works around here.  I'll post pics of the office another day.  No time for that now. 
I just finished my second week of radiation.  It's going fine.  But it's a juggling act for sure.  Henry gets dropped off at a different house each day, except Thursday's because Barb {aka best neighbor ever} comes to me and does my ironing while Henry naps.  Parker's preschool teachers also know that if I don't show up in time to pick him up they just feed Parker lunch until I can get back from radiation.  The cancer card is a wonderful thing.  Also, in case this has never been made clear on the blog I need to make sure everyone is aware that I am always late.  Always.  I drive crazy fast, run red lights {everyone does here because Sammamish traffic is ridiculous} and I yell at the slow drivers who get in my way.  But I'm smart enough to know that if I drive that way every time I'm going to radiation I'm going to get in a car accident and that would put me over the top.  So be very impressed when I tell you that I've been on time, sometimes early for almost every appointment and I only drive kind of fast with very few lane changes.  It is nothing short of a miracle.  I usually sprint from the parking lot to the oncology unit flying past all my fellow cancer friends who are hobbling inside but oh well.  I am thirty years younger than most of them so they are probably happy for me that I can run, right?  Plus, its currently my only source of exercise so those ten seconds of wind in my hair feel really good!
OK, so my time is up.  im typing one handed while i nurse henry.  thanks to everyone who is helping me get through this crazy time in my life.  for the record, i will NEVER look back on this and laugh.  throw up or possibly cry, and definitely break into a cold sweat but never will i laugh about it.