Mama Bear

I never felt real rage until I became a mother.  I can get angry and annoyed but when someone messes with my kids, deep down inside me I want to turn into The Hulk and destroy everything in my path.  Luckily for everyone, these episodes are few and far between and I am pretty good at stifling my inner raging demon enough to be civil and seem only mildly annoyed/angry.  Knowing when to give in to my mama bear instincts and when to let things go is a hard line to walk.  Some of my biggest regrets have been when I ignored the instinct and didn't stand up for one of my kids.
This summer, I took Parker to his first swim lesson.  It's always hard to know which swim level to sign a kid up for because if it's too easy they end up sitting on the edge of the pool while the teacher dips their toes in the water.  If it's too hard they can't keep up with the other kids, they get tired, and want to quit.  Parker hasn't had lessons in forever (because I'm cheap and Randy used to be a swim instructor for crying out loud) but I finally bit the bullet and realized Parker's swimming abilities would bring shame to the Ball family name so I signed him up for lessons at our dreaded YMCA.
I got him all squared away with his teacher and his goggles properly placed, then found a chair to sit on at the adjacent pool where I couldn't watch Parker without turning around.  I thought this was a good idea so I wouldn't be tempted to interfere and yell at him if he started to goof off but every once in awhile I'd turn around to check on him.  The instructor was a young college kid and there were only 3 kids in the class.  Parker was the youngest and definitely the worst swimmer but was holding his own.  I was surprised at the distance the instructor was making the kids swim but Parker seemed to be managing. The next time I glanced over, the teacher had them doing the back stroke.  Parker was terrible at it but in my brief glance, seemed to be okay.  When I checked again, I saw that Parker was desperately trying to keep afloat on his back but was basically vertical in the water with his head tipped back, almost like he was trying to tread water.  The teacher just watched and said nothing.  Parker's head kept going under and that's when Mama Bear came out.  I stormed over to the pool and got there just as Parker made it to the edge where he was hanging onto the wall, crying, and coughing.  I noticed one of the other kids was crying too and I got so mad!  "What are you doing??  Are you not allowed to touch the kids or help them in any way?  Couldn't you see my son doesn't know how to do the backstroke?  Why were you just watching him almost drown??!!"
He responded with, "Sorry."
Then I picked up Parker, wet and sobbing, and carried him out of the pool area and barged into the lifeguard office.  The two employees looked at me with big eyes as I said, "Who is in charge and who do I talk to about my son's horrible swim instructor?"
To make a long story a little less long, I was able to switch Parker to another instructor but same level, and this instructor was so great that he even convinced Parker to get back in the water after the whole horrible ordeal.  Parker loved his lessons and got so much better at swimming.  That time I think the Mama Bear in me paid off.
Well, there's more to this story.  Several weeks ago, a friend and fellow boy-mom reached out to me about an event she needed help with.  She had secured youth advocate and founder of Save The Kids foundation, Collin Kartchner, to come to our area.  He's a TEDx speaker who travels around the country empowering kids to use social media and phones in better ways to help they stay emotionally healthy.  He is awesome and a force for good.  I was thrilled he'd be coming and was more than willing to help my friend secure a venue and funding even though I've NEVER done anything like this before.  I'm not even a PTSA member.  I don't get involved because I'm fine being that crazy lady with five boys who doesn't have time for things like that.  But I've more than made up for it over the last two weeks as I've spent hours emailing PTSA's, principals, and local business owners, trying to convince them that Collin Kartchner is amazing and worth their time and funding.  It's been so frustrating when the responses have been less than enthusiastic.  Here's part of my email to school administration and PTSA boards:
When my 8th grade son (who doesn't have a smart phone) comes home from school and tells me how bored he is at lunch because all his friends are playing games or watching YouTube on their phones, I feel bad.  I feel bad for this generation of kids who measures their worth by how many followers they have on social media or how many likes they get on a post....
The responses I got were less than enthusiastic.  I quickly realized that schools and PTSA boards are a lot like the government.  Slow to act and unable to do something outside the box.  The one principal that actually responded to me told me that the assembly schedule is planned a year in advance.
I wanted to say, "So what?  It's one hour!  One freaking hour.  The kids spend half of every Friday doing "Fun Friday" where they party and goof off and you can't fit a one-hour assembly into your day from an engaging advocate for our kids who is booked out for the next twenty-six months?!"
Duh.  But I didn't say that.  We found a venue for Collin's event and raised thousands of dollars without a single dime from any of the PTSA's (they can't donate money without at least a 45 day notice, blah blah blah).  I've also learned that if I want to make changes and work around the somewhat clueless parents who live in my community, I need to start participating in PTSA.  I need to get friendly with the high school principal so eventually I can convince him to install vaping detectors in the school bathrooms.  Yes, my son goes to a school where it's totally normal for kids to leave class to go to the bathroom and come back high.  Totally normal.  Maybe vaping detectors would help curb that.  Or at least keep them from getting lung disease.
OK, venting is over.  Thanks for reading.  I'd love to hear your stories of rage and Mama Bear unleashed.

Stay Away!

Henry had the stomach flu.  We knew it was coming because a couple of our neighbor's kids had it.  Poor kid.  But honestly you should feel worse for me.  Cleaning up puke is the worst.  It's like hugging a leper.  I try not to breathe in all those nasty germs or throw up myself, then wash my hands until my skin is raw, and then rub hand sanitizer into every little crevice just so I can repeat the whole process when the next round of sickness starts.  Naturally Henry picked a busy Saturday to be sick and I had places to be so Henry was dragged along for the ride regardless of his stomach bug.  We made it for the tail end of Landon's basketball game (he scored 14 baskets!) and a quick trip to Dick's Sporting Goods so I could get Landon a mouth guard for his first lacrosse game (he scored 2 goals!) all without incident.  I was thrilled and drove really fast just to speed up the whole process because I knew Henry was a ticking time bomb.  Just as we were about to take a quick detour to the car wash, Henry started throwing up.  Luckily we didn't hit any other cars as I quickly changed direction while yelling at Parker to "Grab the bowl!  Quick!  GIVE HENRY THE BOWL!!"  But Parker wasn't fast enough so Henry was covered and so was his car seat.  You know what's worse than driving around in a dirty minivan full of boys and all their crap?  Driving around in a minivan full of boys, all their crap, and the smell of vomit.  It's much worse.  I felt bad for myself. 
Poor Henry.   That night he was so thirsty and hungry.  I made a quick trip to the grocery store for popsicles hoping he could at least keep those down.  It was a long night of him crying and begging for water and snuggling on the couch while he sucked on popsicles at 2:30 and 5:30
in the morning.  Parenthood.....
But the next day was awesome because it was Sunday and I had six hours worth of meetings to be at so Randy held down the fort.  Like most men, Randy has a much lower tolerance for cleaning up throw up so he lucked out that Henry was no longer puking but I still got the day off while Randy stayed home with him.  It was glorious!  I really think I heard angels singing.  I came home to a messy kitchen, think post-Thanksgiving dinner kind of mess, and a delicious meal of roast, potatoes and gravy, and homemade rolls.  I think my new church assignment is going to be a good change for our family.
And now Ethan has the stomach flu.  He hasn't kept anything down in three days.  We will see who succumbs to the plague next....

Stuff

Henry hasn't slept or napped well in several days so I'm determined to stay home and let him sleep until he wakes up on his own.  Poor kid never gets to start or end his nap without being in his car seat.  While Henry sleeps, I will blog.  And I even updated the photos on my sidebar after five long years.  You're welcome. 
Happy Valentine's Day!  I have done almost nothing to prepare for this day other than making sure Landon and Parker had Valentine's to take to school today.  Oh, but I did whip up homemade raspberry syrup to pour over the Belgian waffles I made for breakfast {Wednesday is late start day so we have extra time in the morning}.  No one ate the syrup.  Sometimes it's really annoying when my boys don't respond to my love language of food.  Oh well. 

 Speaking of food, Randy and I went out for a late dinner with some friends on Saturday.  This is significant because it means we are pulling out of our super stressful slightly depressed lives enough to be social.  A couple suggested we go to John Howie Steak which I rolled my eyes at because it is PRICEY!  But I guess if you eat in the bar area after 10pm, their amazing burgers are only fifteen bucks.  So that's how we found ourselves at a bar in our church clothes after going to a church meeting on a Saturday night.  And since our party of 8 didn't order any alcoholic drinks I'm sure our waiter was very unhappy.  But the food!  Oh my, it was good!  Randy and I split the giant burger and ordered a steak appetizer.  Oh, and the burger was served with truffle fries that were so delicious I didn't need ketchup and that's saying a lot.

I never take pics of our friends but these people are the best!

8th graders!

  I spent Friday night at the middle school's annual hoe down.  All the kids dress in plaid shirts, we eat dinner, then the kids dance the night away doing all the dance steps they learned in PE while the adults sit on the bleachers and watch.  Marcus LOVES the hoe down and Ethan was excited and nervous for it because he hasn't had PE yet so he barely knows what he's doing.  Let's just say Marcus was having the time of his life and Ethan may never go to another hoe down again.  I'll let you read between the lines on that one and just know that being a parent can be so PAINFUL when you watch your kids struggle. 

 After the hoe down, Marcus invited his friends over.  He never has friends over so I was ready to do anything at any cost to ensure they had a good time but all Marcus wanted was for me to make chocolate chip cookies.  Easy enough.  The boys devoured them, played in the backyard, then watched Nacho Libre until their parents came.  And since all the parents texted their sons when they arrived for pickup, I didn't even have to answer the door or have awkward small talk with parents I'd never met because the boys just left when their car pulled up.  Win!

 You may wonder why Parker is having soda with his breakfast pancake.  For the month of February we are doing the R.E.D. challenge which is Read scriptures Every Day.  For every day the boys read their scriptures they get to pick something from the R.E.D bowl.  It's pretty much filled with red junk food, red soda, and red Gatorade.  For some strange reason the boys pick their treat and immediately eat it.  I thought they would pack it in their lunches or save it for an after-school snack.  But no.  They eat it for breakfast.  Yesterday Randy said, "Mel, you're going to give the boys so many cavities if they eat all this junk!"  as he popped a handful of candy in his mouth.  I rolled my eyes.  So far no one has missed a day of reading so it seems like a good idea to me.

 

Landon is my first son to actually want to make a box for his Valentine's.  Usually my boys just take a grocery bag.  He made this shark box all on his own which makes me so happy.  Artistic abilities do not run strong in the Ball family.