Mama Bear

I never felt real rage until I became a mother.  I can get angry and annoyed but when someone messes with my kids, deep down inside me I want to turn into The Hulk and destroy everything in my path.  Luckily for everyone, these episodes are few and far between and I am pretty good at stifling my inner raging demon enough to be civil and seem only mildly annoyed/angry.  Knowing when to give in to my mama bear instincts and when to let things go is a hard line to walk.  Some of my biggest regrets have been when I ignored the instinct and didn't stand up for one of my kids.
This summer, I took Parker to his first swim lesson.  It's always hard to know which swim level to sign a kid up for because if it's too easy they end up sitting on the edge of the pool while the teacher dips their toes in the water.  If it's too hard they can't keep up with the other kids, they get tired, and want to quit.  Parker hasn't had lessons in forever (because I'm cheap and Randy used to be a swim instructor for crying out loud) but I finally bit the bullet and realized Parker's swimming abilities would bring shame to the Ball family name so I signed him up for lessons at our dreaded YMCA.
I got him all squared away with his teacher and his goggles properly placed, then found a chair to sit on at the adjacent pool where I couldn't watch Parker without turning around.  I thought this was a good idea so I wouldn't be tempted to interfere and yell at him if he started to goof off but every once in awhile I'd turn around to check on him.  The instructor was a young college kid and there were only 3 kids in the class.  Parker was the youngest and definitely the worst swimmer but was holding his own.  I was surprised at the distance the instructor was making the kids swim but Parker seemed to be managing. The next time I glanced over, the teacher had them doing the back stroke.  Parker was terrible at it but in my brief glance, seemed to be okay.  When I checked again, I saw that Parker was desperately trying to keep afloat on his back but was basically vertical in the water with his head tipped back, almost like he was trying to tread water.  The teacher just watched and said nothing.  Parker's head kept going under and that's when Mama Bear came out.  I stormed over to the pool and got there just as Parker made it to the edge where he was hanging onto the wall, crying, and coughing.  I noticed one of the other kids was crying too and I got so mad!  "What are you doing??  Are you not allowed to touch the kids or help them in any way?  Couldn't you see my son doesn't know how to do the backstroke?  Why were you just watching him almost drown??!!"
He responded with, "Sorry."
Then I picked up Parker, wet and sobbing, and carried him out of the pool area and barged into the lifeguard office.  The two employees looked at me with big eyes as I said, "Who is in charge and who do I talk to about my son's horrible swim instructor?"
To make a long story a little less long, I was able to switch Parker to another instructor but same level, and this instructor was so great that he even convinced Parker to get back in the water after the whole horrible ordeal.  Parker loved his lessons and got so much better at swimming.  That time I think the Mama Bear in me paid off.
Well, there's more to this story.  Several weeks ago, a friend and fellow boy-mom reached out to me about an event she needed help with.  She had secured youth advocate and founder of Save The Kids foundation, Collin Kartchner, to come to our area.  He's a TEDx speaker who travels around the country empowering kids to use social media and phones in better ways to help they stay emotionally healthy.  He is awesome and a force for good.  I was thrilled he'd be coming and was more than willing to help my friend secure a venue and funding even though I've NEVER done anything like this before.  I'm not even a PTSA member.  I don't get involved because I'm fine being that crazy lady with five boys who doesn't have time for things like that.  But I've more than made up for it over the last two weeks as I've spent hours emailing PTSA's, principals, and local business owners, trying to convince them that Collin Kartchner is amazing and worth their time and funding.  It's been so frustrating when the responses have been less than enthusiastic.  Here's part of my email to school administration and PTSA boards:
When my 8th grade son (who doesn't have a smart phone) comes home from school and tells me how bored he is at lunch because all his friends are playing games or watching YouTube on their phones, I feel bad.  I feel bad for this generation of kids who measures their worth by how many followers they have on social media or how many likes they get on a post....
The responses I got were less than enthusiastic.  I quickly realized that schools and PTSA boards are a lot like the government.  Slow to act and unable to do something outside the box.  The one principal that actually responded to me told me that the assembly schedule is planned a year in advance.
I wanted to say, "So what?  It's one hour!  One freaking hour.  The kids spend half of every Friday doing "Fun Friday" where they party and goof off and you can't fit a one-hour assembly into your day from an engaging advocate for our kids who is booked out for the next twenty-six months?!"
Duh.  But I didn't say that.  We found a venue for Collin's event and raised thousands of dollars without a single dime from any of the PTSA's (they can't donate money without at least a 45 day notice, blah blah blah).  I've also learned that if I want to make changes and work around the somewhat clueless parents who live in my community, I need to start participating in PTSA.  I need to get friendly with the high school principal so eventually I can convince him to install vaping detectors in the school bathrooms.  Yes, my son goes to a school where it's totally normal for kids to leave class to go to the bathroom and come back high.  Totally normal.  Maybe vaping detectors would help curb that.  Or at least keep them from getting lung disease.
OK, venting is over.  Thanks for reading.  I'd love to hear your stories of rage and Mama Bear unleashed.