Crossroads

The house is strangely quiet.  There are two little boys playing upstairs together and it sounds as if they are getting along while the older boys are at school.  I'm sure the peace will only last a few more minutes.
Big things are brewing around here, folks.  Randy is in Utah right now for a job interview of sorts.  Looking for a job as an endodontist is a totally different ballgame than a regular job search.  Buying into a practice is a huge commitment and it mostly comes down to meeting with other docs to see if you like them and want to spend the rest of your working life together.  So you know, no pressure.  Randy has already interviewed with a large practice in VA.   After his interview in UT he flies to Seattle to meet with two other practices, one that is a small family business and the other is big and looking to expand.
We are completely torn as to where we want to end up which is so lame because up until the last couple years I would have done anything to move back to UT.  I even looked at a few lots and tried to persuade Randy that we could always purchase one and sell it later if it didn't work out.  I guess I got tired of chasing that dream because I gave up on it and decided that Washington is a pretty great place to live.  It was so hard to move to RI and took a long time for me to get over leaving WA.  I loved that the winters were mild, that's it's pretty all year round, that there was a strong network of church members, and that it was driving distance to UT, Oregon, and Canada.  Plus, I like having all our own family traditions and holidays and I have no idea how to continue those if we're expected to do everything with both our families. 
But if Randy takes a job in Seattle we are signing ourselves up for a lifetime of driving/flying to UT every summer, and only seeing family members in short, condensed time frames and that makes me want to cry too.  Not to mention the sick irony that I finally have my chance to live in UT and my mom isn't there.  It kills me and honestly makes me so angry I almost want to move anywhere else just out of spite. 
So now you know what's going on behind the scenes at our house.  Randy hasn't even had a formal offer for the UT gig so I know he's rolling his eyes at my dramatics.  We've got big decisions and big changes ahead of us.  Just writing about all of this makes me want to crawl under my covers and hide.