Four Years

Mom with Baby Ethan, talking on the phone to my sister

It was four years ago yesterday that my Mom passed away.  I hate that day.  I hate thinking about it, but at the same time it seems too big to not mention.
I spent last night watching the Broadway musical Wicked with Randy.  He surprised me with tickets for Christmas {love him!}.  As I sat watching it, I couldn't help but remember the first time I saw Wicked was when I was in London, watching it with my Mom.  It felt more than coincidental that I was watching it again, on the day of her passing.
I cried a lot.  Especially when they sang "For Good", which was sung at Lindsey's funeral and always reminds me of her.  Four years without a mom is a long time.  It feels like my wings were clipped and I've been struggling along ever since.  My mom was always so good at giving me just the right advice and the right criticism to see what I needed to do better.  She softened my rough edges which makes me wonder what I would be like if she were still here.